Everyone is full of advice. I love asking other mom's for advice on stages that we are working through. I love talking to other mom's about how we worked through different stages. Once you have been there it is as if you have CONQUERED something grand.
What diapers do I buy? Am I the only one that feels as if my body is no longer my own? How do you give a baby non-pureed food without killing him? Your kiddo eats cauliflower, how did you do that? Will it work on my husband? Can you teach a crawler 'no'? Your baby sleeps, I want that?! How the heck do I expect a 1 year old to sit in time out when he basically doesn't sit down all day? And on and on and on.
What I didn't account for was the fact that I needed a psychology degree in order to raise a toddler. Hopefully my business degrees and some creative thinking from Corey and I will do.
In my 21 months of mothering, I am by no means an expert. I have done things that I wouldn't do next time. I have done things that worked, but probably won't work next time. I will gladly talk with you about introducing food (most of my ideas I stole from my friend Angela), breast feeding, sign language, diapers, sippy cups, sleeping, saving money on baby gear, or just about anything else. But keep in mind that God has this thing called a sense of humor. There are no easy steps to conquer a stage every time. And there is an above average chance that what worked for me, won't work for you. Gotta love that!
So here is the real advice:
Think Positive - Find something positive to appreciate about every stage. The truth is that that stage will pass, and no matter how icky it is, it is nice to have something to cling to that will make you smile. I remember we had some REALLY rough months in the beginning with Lawrence and a friend gave me this advice. Some sleepless nights the only thing I could cling to was that I got to cuddle with my baby and there would be a day that that wouldn't happen.
Parenting Personality - You and your spouse will find that you have a "parenting personality". What do you both need in order to have a fun, peaceful, and healthy home? There are things that are important to us and that work for our home because of our personalities, and guess what, they are going to be different than others. For example, we like to keep things fairly structured and routine. I am happiest this way and (in my opinion) Lawrence is most predictable in this environment. Of course things are adjusted here and there because that's life. But there are other people that this type of order would make them crazy. And their type of chaos would make me crazy! My advice is to find one or two other couples that have a similar "parenting personality" and focus your questions to those couples. There is a greater chance that their ideas will work in your home. And not that the others are wrong or bad, it's just not gonna fly for you! P.S. Embrace your parenting style and love it - don't feel bad or feel like you should be different because others are.
Insanity - There have been times (especially in the beginning when we were sleep deprived) that things obviously weren't working, we were struggling, we kept trying... And then I reminded myself that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. We were literally going insaine. It is so much harder to stop and rethink what you are doing and try new tactics when you aren't happy with the results you are getting. It usually took Corey throwing out ideas. It is hard to change things up, but if it isn't working anyway then what is there to lose?
Breastfeeding - Ugh. There is nothing natural about this "all natural" way to feed baby. I by no means nailed it. But I worked really hard and was successful. My advice - set (shorter) goals along the way and when you reach them, reevaluate. Find an expert to talk to and don't be afraid to ask dumb questions. And if you have low milk supply - I'm your girl to talk to (it doesn't mean you can't BF).
Shower - Find a time during your daily routine to take a shower. Easier said than done in the beginning! I have done different things at different ages - bouncer in the bathroom, pack and play in the bedroom, naptime, and early morning.
Be Still - As I write I am reminded of a blog post that I wrote while Lawrence was an infant - http://abbybev.blogspot.com/2010/06/lessons-from-seven-pounder.html
I don't know if I should cry or laugh after re-reading that! Yes, it is okay to be still. For one day it won't be an option :)
Today - Thank God for challenging you; whether as a mother or elsewhere.
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